Sept. 25th, 2009 - My life in a Male Chastity Device

Sept. 25th, 2009,

Hi, the name my wife D.D. has bestowed upon me is P.P. which in short stands for Pretty Princess. Though I stand at 6'3" sporting a trimmed beard, hairy chest and strut around in this world as though I should be a lumber jack or a linebacker for a football team, being given this nick name humbles me to no end and makes me at the same time more excited than one could imagine. When I hear this name or any other name that teases me in this way from D.D. instantly it screams to me I'm not in control and this excites me to no end. Why this excites me so much is probably not for the same reasons most people would think or for even the same reason I use to think.

Before I use to be all about the fantasy of play. Masturbating regularly and coming up with what a mistress could do for me or to me that would excite me sexually. It use to be all about the sex aspect of play, but now since I decided to to whole heartily let go fully give up a 100% control for real and commit to this without trying to manipulate D.D.'s actions in controlling me in life and in love and simply trust what she tells me, life has changed almost over night. With-in 48 hours I lay before my wife D.D. on the bed talking of the immense emotions I have towards her and begin to cry harder than I may have ever cried before. This is not something that happens to me often at all. I grew up seeing and being involved in acts of human life which taught me to be cold and turn off emotion. To show weakness where I grew up was unheard of and would only make a man an outcast. This made me a very good actor because who I was for so many years was simply not who I was inside. Though I have gotten better over the years thanks to being clean and sober and working on my spirituality for the last 19years, what I learned in this 48hours felt as thought it changed everything. I'm feeling more inside of me then ever before and as a result I want to become a better man. In short when P.P. or Big baby or even maggot (ALL spoken in a loving playful way) are spoken to me by my true love D.D. I get excited not at the fantasy of being dominated but rather I get excited because I get to throw my arms up into the air metaphorically and know I am not in control and I'm able to simply let go, trust, and learn of love and life from an amazing woman.

Thanks to the support of my incredible wife DD taking full control of all my orgasms (which as it turns out is a very important aspect of all of this which I will get into later), and full control over my behaviors I have be able to let go in ways I didn't realize existed for me. Emotions are stronger, my respect and love for my wife is in a whole new realm, I care more intensely about all that I do love, physically I feel better, mentally I've stopped bad habits that I could never control before such as picking at myself when nervous or stressed, when I do things for the ones I love I feel extremely satisfied like never before, my shortcomings has lessened 10 fold and continue to decline, to mention a few. In short, thanks to my lovely wife's guidance I'm learning of feelings, self control, respect for others, respect for universe and thanks to her guidance I can fully let go and become a better person. I am no longer in control and I love it.