Monday, October 12, 2009

Oct. 12th, 2009 - My life in a Male Chastity Device

Oct. 12th, 2009

Yesterday I had an irritation from my chastity device The CB3000. After making some adjustments the problem has been resolved. It seems the chastity was simply on to tight and needed to be loosened. I woke up and got our son off to school, then played some poker online (winning :-) and then the exciting part I was able to get into my insanely wild outfit that makes me look incredibly like a big toddler and serve me wife coffee. I woke her by caressing her neck back and head. She finally turned over and saw the overwhelming amount of pink screaming at her. She simply said wow, that's a lot to process. We both laughed hard and had our coffee.

This outfit is so crazy bulky it makes me waddle. So to make my wife laugh and enjoy I would run waddling across the living room floor. She thought this was so hysterical that she grabbed the camera and told me to go outside in the backyard and run. Scary as it was I did as I was told. We both laughed very hard viewing the video soon after.

If this is only week three of being DD's submissive I can only imagine what is in store for me down the road. She mentioned something about going for a drive in this outfit which scares me and excites me all at the same time. Knowing my DD, she's up for the adventure. Yikes, lol.

Oct. 11th, 2009 - My life in a Male Chastity Device

Oct. 11th, 2009

Since I've left Hilo (10/8/2009) I have not orgasmed. At this point it's only been 3 days and I'm ok enjoying giving my wife the attention she deserves. She's a wonderful understaing woman and my biggest supporter in all these crazy kinks I enjoy. Tomorrow I get to serve her coffee in the most amazing PINK sissy outfit known to man. She writes fun things on my thigh like "property of DD, 24/7". She is helping me with my eating. Telling me exactly what I can and what I can't eat. Following her orders seems to be easy seeing when I simply do this I just don't have to think about anything but simply do. She says 5 MM's I gladdly eat just 5 MM's, she says no desert, I have no desert without question. I kind of wish she would up the antie a bit on my weight lose but I simply don't think it's in her nature to push like that. She said something about me doing sit ups tonight while she sat on the computor but she did not make that happen. My best guess is she simply forgot.

Anyways life is exciting and outside of some minor irritation the chastity play is going fantastic.

Sept. 29th, 2009 - My life in Male Chastity Device

Sept. 29th, 2009,

Yesterday DD asked how my food was going, meaning was I over eating as usual. When I told her I've been screwing up I asked her for some guidance, suggesting to her that a few standing orders could be in place for me. She told me not to eat bad and that I had to give up Mayo 100%. I was very please to hear how easy it was for her to speak so strong and command I do well. I'm not perfect, but when this command comes from the woman I love, it makes me want to do well for her. It makes me want to well for me so I can be healthier and be there for a long time to come.

That night I had a salad for starters and then went to get a sandwich. When the man behind the counter asked what I wanted, in that moment I drew a blank face. My normal response was a Tuna Wrap with heavy mayo. I stepped out of line and said I will be back. Outside I went to call my wonderful DD for advice. This in itself is an amazing feat for me. To ask for help before I screw up. I asked if I could have tuna? After a moment she said no and explain that tuna has mayo mixed in and that this could be a trigger. Without fuss I said ok, which is also a new thing for me. When told to do something I use to do what is called top from the bottom. This means I use to try and tease, or come up with an excuse, or try and word things in a certain way to try and get it the way I want rather than what is being directed towards me. Only after given up full control and learning to simply say that one work OK has things gotten better. I don' have to think about stuff, I only have to DO.

Somehow moments later we where talking about the makeup that was stowed on board for me the last time my wife DD was on-board. I guess as a reward I though it would be fun to put some on after eating well. I jokingly said I would take pictures for her and to my surprise she said she would like that. I simply said OK (with a HUGE grin on my face). That was one OK that was very easy, lol.

She told me that since I walked that day and ate well that afternoon and night that I could have a piece of this incredible chocolate melting cake with frozen yogurt. I was please I was allowed but after a few moments I thought to myself that without it I would be better off. It is high time I start treating my body as a machine that carries me around in life and with great care my machine will run longer. We only have one vessel in this life, and it's time to take care of it. With my decision not to eat the cake DD was please and pleasing her always excites me to no end. I am very blessed to have her commands and guidance in something I want so bad.

Instead of the sandwich I had fish and rice and put out a side dish of fish for the Fairies. Something my lovely DD told me to do and I do so without question. I will say doing this action made me feel good in knowing I was sharing. Since this has all started being more given has become apart of this experience and it feels wonderful. I even gave her the most delicious looking piece of fish I could find. I hope she was happy with it.

After I ate it was time for the fun part. I could not get to my cabin fast enough. I was hoping to put on the make up and take some pictures for DD before she went to bed. Me putting on make up is an interesting task to say the least. I had very little clue as to what the hell I was doing. I did my best which was not very good, then I took a bunch of pictures and started up a chat with DD on-line. I was ecstatic that was she still up. I picked the best three and set them. At the end of my photo shoot I even took some lipstick and wrote on my forehead (backwards for me) "DD RULES". I think that was her favorite picture. Not to sound crude but the thought of being her property excites the living hell out of me.

During our chat I put the cam on so she could see my work as we chat. Not sure if this was fun for her or not but I was excited to display my devotion to her with my "DD RULES" forehead. In the end of my chat. I could help but to ask a couple questions on her thought of our chastity play. I asked if she knew how soon I would be getting locked up when I was home and she responded with, I having thought about it. and then I asked if she gave any thought to how long I would be in my chastity for without orgasm? She replied in a joking way (I think), perhaps Christmas. The next thing I wrote was "OK". I'm a little nervous at this, but at the same time I'm way more excited at this. I believe it would be an amazing journey to see what would happen in my life to not have one single orgasm for 11 weeks (Oct. 9th - Dec. 25th is exactly 11 weeks). My guess is I would learn amazing amounts about myself & about my love for my wife DD. I believe I will live with a much higher spiritually space within myself, I believe I will begin to learn what true feelings really are. No more being able to suppress, just living life following my loving guide, my arms in the air surrendering my control.

Sept. 25th, 2009 - My life in a Male Chastity Device

Sept. 25th, 2009,

Hi, the name my wife D.D. has bestowed upon me is P.P. which in short stands for Pretty Princess. Though I stand at 6'3" sporting a trimmed beard, hairy chest and strut around in this world as though I should be a lumber jack or a linebacker for a football team, being given this nick name humbles me to no end and makes me at the same time more excited than one could imagine. When I hear this name or any other name that teases me in this way from D.D. instantly it screams to me I'm not in control and this excites me to no end. Why this excites me so much is probably not for the same reasons most people would think or for even the same reason I use to think.

Before I use to be all about the fantasy of play. Masturbating regularly and coming up with what a mistress could do for me or to me that would excite me sexually. It use to be all about the sex aspect of play, but now since I decided to to whole heartily let go fully give up a 100% control for real and commit to this without trying to manipulate D.D.'s actions in controlling me in life and in love and simply trust what she tells me, life has changed almost over night. With-in 48 hours I lay before my wife D.D. on the bed talking of the immense emotions I have towards her and begin to cry harder than I may have ever cried before. This is not something that happens to me often at all. I grew up seeing and being involved in acts of human life which taught me to be cold and turn off emotion. To show weakness where I grew up was unheard of and would only make a man an outcast. This made me a very good actor because who I was for so many years was simply not who I was inside. Though I have gotten better over the years thanks to being clean and sober and working on my spirituality for the last 19years, what I learned in this 48hours felt as thought it changed everything. I'm feeling more inside of me then ever before and as a result I want to become a better man. In short when P.P. or Big baby or even maggot (ALL spoken in a loving playful way) are spoken to me by my true love D.D. I get excited not at the fantasy of being dominated but rather I get excited because I get to throw my arms up into the air metaphorically and know I am not in control and I'm able to simply let go, trust, and learn of love and life from an amazing woman.

Thanks to the support of my incredible wife DD taking full control of all my orgasms (which as it turns out is a very important aspect of all of this which I will get into later), and full control over my behaviors I have be able to let go in ways I didn't realize existed for me. Emotions are stronger, my respect and love for my wife is in a whole new realm, I care more intensely about all that I do love, physically I feel better, mentally I've stopped bad habits that I could never control before such as picking at myself when nervous or stressed, when I do things for the ones I love I feel extremely satisfied like never before, my shortcomings has lessened 10 fold and continue to decline, to mention a few. In short, thanks to my lovely wife's guidance I'm learning of feelings, self control, respect for others, respect for universe and thanks to her guidance I can fully let go and become a better person. I am no longer in control and I love it.